Relationships

Last summer, as i was working as a lifeguard, a remarkable young man named Tate made a very astute observation. He basically said that the only things which are actually real are people and the relationships we develop with them. He deeply analyzed and explained the concept to me by saying that the guard tube, if he were to walk away from it, he could never actually be certain if it existed or mattered. It wasn't really there because it had no impact on him. But then he pointed to me and said, something like, "but you, when you leave me, even though i won't be able to see you, i'll know you actually exist because i'll have you in my mind and your impact on me, and our words will have changed me." That's about the gist of what he told me. I will never forget that conversation. It was ridiculously philosophical and uncharacteristically deep for a 16 year old boy to say, but i left an impression on me. After that conversation, Tate and I would share the deep thoughts we had while we were on stand. I'm certain he has no idea, but that first little observation he shared has come to mean so much to me.

I truly do think that there is a reason we are instructed to love one another and develop relationships, not only with those around us, but with Christ. If other things like our possessions and objects were going to be important or impact and help us in the long run, we would be told to love them and make sure we had lots of them. But that's not what the scriptures and modern revelation tell us. We can't take those things with us when we die. The people around us are the things that matter. If we work hard and develop those relationships, and keep our covenants, we can see them with us in the next life. I've observed some unique things about relationships and maybe also some roadblocks Satan is successfully putting to stop the development of relationships.

Being a pre-communications major, i've been exposed to lots of data concerning the effects of social media and technology on the social skills of the rising generation. Facebook and texting have had a negative impact on how people talk to one another. Its sad to me, especially since i know i am guilty of letting technology and people who are on my phone or computer, block out the people i am around. I sit on my computer chating on facebook when i'm bored. What i should be doing is getting to know my roommates better or something. I do understand how social media can be a positive tool to spread the good news of the gospel. I loved President Uchtdorf's comments on that in conference this weekend. But i also have ambitious to develop more meaningful and personal relationships with those around me. There are several of these treasured relationships that I would be tragically lost without. My parents are very special to me. I wish we were closer, but i am grateful for the closeness we already have.

I've always been daddy's little girl and i wouldn't have it any way. he is my best friend. I share all of my successes in school with him. We discuss current events and topics of scientific and medical natures. We talk about guy stuff like guns and self defense and fishing. I even tell him about boy troubles. He's actually more helpful and perceptive in that regard than i ever would have thought. We do email each other and message once in awhile. I think that technology makes it a lot easier to maintain my relationship with my father.
 My mother has taught me so much about the qualities of a mother. Although she and i have our differences, i'm glad we have individual opinions and perspectives. I've learned a lot from looking at things in her perspective. We used to struggle a lot more in the past. I'm grateful i've grown up a ton and don't have such a belligerent attitude towards her anymore. She's been way more patient with me than i deserve. I've recognized that to her, a relationship is strengthened through service. She is such a serviceable person and a mother. I want to be a mom just like her.

Its really weird to me that i saw a change and improvement in my relationships with my family when i moved away from them. After being away from them and not having them in my life everyday, i realized how much they mean to me. I think it is kind of true for most kids who move away to college or go on missions. It is kind of sad thought that, its our human nature, to not value things as much until we lose them. I'd like to break this cycle in my life and give importance to the relationships i have now and not wait until they are gone to try and develop them.